Why will power does not work

The majority of clients I see have tried many different methods to overcome their problems prior to booking an appointment with me. They often feel because they haven't managed to fix the problem themselves, they are weak or not good enough, they question as to how it can be easy for some, yet others find it so hard.

It is all down to programming. Your conscious mind may have a clear understanding of what you would like to achieve but in the past,  it wasn't a priority or a good idea, therefore your subconscious mind cannot perceive it.

It is like trying to open a word document in an Excel spreadsheet, there is clearly a mismatch. For example, with my Virtual Gastric Band Ditch the Diet clients. They tell me they know they need to cut down on the sugar BUT whenever they are bored, stressed or upset they NEED something sweet. The thing is, what they more often experience is the action of getting the sweet snack as being unconscious/automated and so they often don’t notice the snack until they have started to eat it and then it is too late. It is like trying to stop a dog chasing a rabbit once they have left your side, they know they shouldn’t do it, but it is in their programming.  

We are all programmed from an early age when our brain waves are in a constant state of trance. Between the age of birth and approximately 7 years old, everything we see hear and experience becomes our reality our software programming. That’s why we don’t need to be reminded that something is dangerous if it is hot, not to walk out in front of a car or what muscles we need to relax and contract to ride a bicycle, it is just automatic. But what if you were rewarded with sweet things when you were good, or upset? what if you had a narcissistic parent and you struggled to know how to behave around them for fear of abuse?

What if you were constantly judged and criticised and therefore never felt good enough?

Well those experiences will have become your filter that you run today's reality through before you decide on the action you should take.

For example you have a really busy day, feel stressed and come home to relax, you go straight to the biscuit barrel whilst cooking dinner or the chocolate on the way home with a little voice in your head telling you “go on you deserve it you have worked really hard today cheer yourself up with something sweet or a few glasses of wine”. Once consumed you then feel frustrated with yourself for giving in and ruining your weight loss promise, but only afterwards. This is a classic symptom of automated programming.

Or maybe your new boss turns out to be a narcissistic and you find yourself second guessing your work, losing confidence, making mistakes, doubting your ability. Again, this is just your automated programming of how you learnt to behave around that narcissistic parent, try and find a way to reduce the judgement, abuse, when frankly whatever you did wouldn’t make a difference because it wasn’t and isn’t your fault.

So how can you change the software of your brain. Well there are a few ways:

  1. Affirmations – choose an opposing affirmation to rewire your subconscious with a new belief. This must be repeated a few times per day for at least 28 days or more depending on the strength of the previous belief

  2. Questioning the automatic thought or behaviour each time it comes up to determine if it is true or relevant in the now. Once you have changed the belief it won’t bother you again.

  3. Change direction of the automated behaviour, act in a different way, for example use your imagination and pretend you are different, fake it until you make it and if you do this often enough your reality will change to match it.

  4. Listen to a reprogramming hypnosis track from a trusted hypnotherapist to change a belief or action

  5. Visit myself or a reputable hypnotherapist to work with you to talk directly to the subconscious to delete the old programs and create more. I conduct Hypnotherapy in Tauranga, Papamoa and Omokoroa but also Nationally and Internationally online via Zoom.

If you would like to know more please feel free to email me with any questions kymberleycarterpaige@gmail.com or visit my website www.changeyourmind.nz

 

 

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